Wednesday, October 12, 2011

This Must Be What Jesus Felt Like....

Tess, Baxter Bagwell and Chance

Surrounded by trusting, adoring and concerned faces.  My flock is tending me, instead of me tending my flock.  Still, opening my eyes to three furry faces ready for just a touch of my hand made me feel pretty awesome this morning.  I love my dogs.

I'm recovering on the couch today.  My surgery was yesterday and although I was a nervous wreck, I was still pretty excited to find out the results.  I had a laparoscopy and a hysteroscopy, both for diagnostic reasons.  I went in dreading a few things (catheter and IV) but also looking forward to waking up and having several things checked or marked off our "reasons we're infertile" list.  I wasn't disappointed.

I had moderate endometriosis.  Dr. S said it's classed as either mild, moderate or severe.  Strangely enough, I was thrilled that I'm not severe or mild for two very different reasons.  If it was just mild endo, it may not have been a contributing factor of our infertility and honestly, I wanted and needed it to be a contributing factor so we could get it fixed and I'd have more hope.  I know that sounds bananas, but hey....I am a little bananas at this point.  If the endo had been severe, it may have meant we were stuck in a situation that wasn't easily worked around and well, you get the point.  It wouldn't have been good on any level.

With mine being a moderate case, I feel good about it because Dr. S was able to clean everything out and she feels positive about it being a big cause of our problems.   It may not be the only problem, but it's a good possibility.  She said it will definitely help w/ the pain I've had during my period and getting it all cleaned up could help us in the conception department as well.  She said I'm in tip-top shape right now so the conditions for conceiving are pretty perfect.  That made my heart sing...very off key, but I sang nonetheless.  

I also had a cyst on my left ovary that she was able to remove and cauterize the area to prevent it from coming back.  I don't know how my former RE missed this, but somehow, he did.  Have I mentioned how happy I am that we switched to a new RE?  Have I mentioned how disenchanted I was with my former clinic?  Yes, yes I have.  If you missed it, click here.  

Dr. S called today to ask how I was feeling and to check in.  We had a pretty bad scare last night because my bladder wouldn't "wake up" and I was about to burst.  Imagine how you feel after a really long ride in a car when you were younger and your dad wouldn't stop because he told you to go before you left.  Yeah, that was what I felt and could do nothing about it.  

The on-call doctor from the clinic told me I needed to go to the ER and have them catheterize me and drain my bladder.   That is seriously my BIGGEST fear.  Seriously.  It sounds barbaric to me. Being cathetered (is that a word?) while completely awake.  I shudder now just thinking about it.  Anyway, I bargained my way into trying again after thirty minutes and I must have scared my bladder to death because I was able to pee a little bit.  Then nothing.  So, Rik decided it was time to go to the hospital.  I may or may not have pitched an absolute fit complete with crying, throwing things and stomping my way out the door.  If I could have laid down easily and kicked my feet (without assistance), I would have.

We were about 20 minutes into the drive when I finally told Rik I had to try again at the next station b/c I felt like I was about to die I had to go so badly.  He stopped and I dragged myself in and had what I would consider a success.  It was good enough for us, so we came back home to continue pep-talking my bladder into cooperating.  It worked.  Thank the Lord!

Boy, did I just go off on a tangent or what?  Where was I?  Oh!  Dr. S called....

She was glad to hear I was up moving around with ease, glad my bladder was cooperating, glad she was able to clean everything up and overall, just a very glad doctor.  I really love her and I am so thankful God led us to her door.  I feel like in the last month, we've gotten closer to our goal than in the past 10 months combined with the other clinic.  Such a relief to know she's on it, helping us figure things out and teaching us what we need to know.  It's amazing.  

Hubby has been fantastic.  He gave me a big teddy bear a long time ago when I was sick with the flu and broke it out again last night for me to snuggle with.  I have to admit, it helped me feel better.  

I get to take my big ol' bandages off in a bit and clean the wounds (anyone else HATE that word?).  We'll see if I faint or not.  Yes, I'm a fainter.  Not like the goats you hear about, but close enough.  I have a few days off of work so I'll do my best to post a little more often.  I'll have the time at least!  

Thank you to my blogger friends who've been so nice to me these past few days.  My family and friends really are the best in the biz and I'm so grateful for them.  Until next time....


OH!  Almost forgot to share my funny story!  The doctor gave me valium to take the night before surgery so that I could get some rest and not stress out all night.  Apparently, it caused me to hallucinate a little bit because I woke up at one point and accused Rik of stealing my glow-in-the-dark book that was sending me secret messages.  I was dead serious about it too.  He wasn't getting away with that!  haha.  Crazy huh?  :)   I also called Dr. S "Lady Gaga" after I woke up in the OR post-op.  Silly medicine.....


  1. I am so glad you were well tended to by your "flock". You're right...your moderate endo is the best possible outcome. Not bad enough to be the nail in your fertility coffin, but not mild enough to be no big deal. I am so hoping that this will be the answer for you!

  2. Glad you have some answers and hoping this will do the trick!

  3. I hope so too ladies....It's amazing how excited I am to have a disease... haha. This fertility business is bananas.