Ok, so maybe that's a bit of a stretch. There aren't circus freaks holding me hostage or any such thing, but sometimes, if I close my eyes just so and tilt my head to the left, Rik looks like a huge giant and Easton could be his little side kick he carries around with him to make him look even bigger. Still though, they aren't holding me hostage or doing magic tricks on me.
What IS happening is this: Someone is shrinking my clothes.
No, really. They have to be. There is no other logical explanation.
Ok, maybe there is. I'm oddly shaped now. I guess having a baby will do that to you. I guess going through fertility treatments will do that to you.
I'm at that point post-pregnancy when I FEEL like things should fit normally again. Yes, five months is clearly not long enough for all my ligaments and hips to pull back together completely but holy-cow-these-hips-don't-lie-but-I-keep-telling-myself-they-really-do. Whew! Glad I got that out.
My house if full of carnival mirrors. I look in the mirror, look normal(ish), go to my closet, hold up something that looks like it would fit (you know how it is, you hold something up and say, "Good Lord that looks huge!"), then try it on and it won't go up past your knees. I have jeans that I wore two years ago when we were in the midst of our fertility treatments, that I'd have to jump off the roof to get in to now. Anyone wanna volunteer to come hold those for me while I climb to the highest point on our house? They are the cutest jeans ever so I think they would totally be worth the risk.
Ugh. I had lost all the baby weight pretty much right away. Then I gained 8 lbs back. Now, I've lost 4 of those pounds again. So, I'm basically at my pre-pregnancy weight (give or take) depending on what time I weigh myself. However, I still have the fertility medicine-inducing weight gain to drop. That's another 13-16 pounds. Until then, nothing in my closet will fit me right. I have about 38 pairs of dress slacks, 10 skirts and about 7 pairs of jeans that I can't wear. Thanks to the ta-ta's, I can't wear half my shirts either b/c they won't button! Ergh.
Oddly, I'm thankful to have this problem because I have the most adorable little boy ever, but when you're trying to get ready for work, it's frustrating. I've got to get back to working out. It's hard to take time away from Easton to do that even though I know it's very important to take care of myself.
My new motivation came from an unexpected source recently. We were at a friend's wedding and I saw a former co-worker that I haven't seen in about five years. She almost walked right past me and I had to stop her and say hello. She looked at me for a solid three seconds before realizing who I was and then said, "Oh my gosh! Shannon! How are you!?" (looked at Easton in my earms) "Oh! You had a baby?! Wow, that explains it! You've gained so much weight I didn't recognize you!" Immediate tears. I wanted to crawl under the pew and bawl my eyes out. Yes, I realize how rude of her to say so, but she obviously said something many folks at that wedding were probably thinking. I'm much bigger than I have ever been in my entire life and it's kind of grossing me out.
So, I'm going to get back to my pre-pregnancy, pre-fertility SHAPE. I'm not going to focus on the # so much as how things fit because I think I'll be happier that way. Clearly, after having a baby, going off the number won't help me reach my goal b/c my body is shaped differently now and I just want my clothes to fit again. :) So, I'll keep you posted here and there as to how I'm doing. Hopefully, by E's first birthday in 7 months, I'll be back to normal and back in those cute jeans! If not, I'm gonna need that volunteer I mentioned above. :)