Thursday, April 18, 2013

Baby Love

Something struck me the other day that touched my heart in a way that I didn't realize was possible.

Easton loves me.

This realization was so profound that I couldn't really stop thinking about it all day and it brought me to tears on more than one occasion.  My son loves me.  ME.  His mommy.

I wondered how long it would take for him to need me, then trust me, then love me but it happened slowly, I didn't really think much of it until the other day.  Then, SHAZAAAM!  Tears, laughing, joy.  

Sure, I'm his food source (mostly) and so he has been "excited" to see me at feeding times and would grin like a maniac if I walked up during diaper changes with Da-da, but the sweetness of his little love for me now is just different.  It's the most precious thing on Earth. 

The way a baby loves is not like the way we love as adults.  It's so pure and so sweet.  We've been shown the way to "love".  We hold hands, we hug, we kiss.  He doesn't know that those are the ways society shows love, he just shows love the way he feels it.  It's so simple.  You can almost see it bubble up inside of him and he just has to let it out somehow.  Sometimes, painfully so for the recipient of said love.

He smiles and laughs like crazy at me, especially if I've been away for a few minutes and he hasn't seen me for a bit.  When I'm holding him, sometimes he just slaps and slaps at me like he's patting me for being a good mommy.  He will watch me like a hawk if I'm cooking and he's in the other room.  He stalks his prey, for sure.  He grunts and makes hilarious faces when he's hungry and finally lays eyes on me.  He reaches with both arms and grabby hands when he wants me to hold him and then buries his little face in whatever nook or cranny he can find on me.  He open-mouth's my face or neck or hand or arm when he is really feeling lovingly towards me..but the sweetest thing of all is when he grabs my face with both hands and pulls my head towards him, growling the whole time, and tries to eat my mouth or my cheek.  He squeezes my face so hard that sometimes, it hurts.  He scratches and claws me sometimes too.  It's adorable.  He wants me to be the one to love him all the time.  To carry him, to hold him, to spend time with him.  I'm another human beings most favorite human being.  :)

I love seeing those little arms reaching for me.  I waited so long to have a child of my heart and soul reach those sweet arms out to me.  Who knew that seeing my own child fall in love with me could shatter my heart into a zillion little fragments and put it back together again at the same time?  

His love is so simple, so sweet, so pure.  That's how love should be, isn't it?  I wish I could bottle it up, just like it is right now, and keep it forever as a reminder of how love was meant to be for all of us.  I'm so thankful for the love of this little boy.  I will do my very best to make sure he always knows just how grateful I am for him and how much I love him every single day.

The look of love.

1 comment:

  1. Can I just copy and paste this post and insert "Samantha" and "her/she" where appropriate?? Thank you for writing this post that has been on my mine and heart but I haven't been able to put into words. Baby love is such a sweet, pure and perfect love!!! It feels sooo good to be loved by these little ones, doesn't it?? :)