Sunday, April 21, 2013

Lost Identity

As a mother, it's easy to lose your old identity and become someone new.  It may be a gradual thing, it may happen overnight, but inevitably, becoming a mom changes you and makes you into someone new.  Better or worse, you're never the same.

I've heard people say they feel like all they are now is a "Mom", and that's it.  I wondered what it must feel like, all those days and months leading up to E's birth, to become someone's mother.  Instead of being "Shannon", being known as "Easton's mom".  I wondered how I would handle that.  Losing my couch time, being "ON" all the time, never any down time.

Being known as "Easton's Mom"?  Well, I'm ok with that.  More than ok with that.  I LOVE IT.

I don't know if it has something to do with WANTING to become a mother, or how long we wanted to have a child in our lives or how prepared we were for the change, but regardless of why, I love the new me.  Sure, she's tired-er and messier and sleepier and hungrier (hey, it's the truth) but she's also awesome-er.

My new identity hasn't been a downgrade, it's been an amazing upgrade to the old version.  My days are filled with responsibility and meaning and love.  Sure, I don't have much time for myself, but I don't really want time for myself.  I just want time with my little boy.  I can't imagine wanting to escape from him.  I know people are different and motherhood can bring all kinds of emotions and hormones along with it, but I'm very thankful that my personal reaction has been nothing but wonderful.  I've been very blessed and I don't take that lightly at all.

Speaking of that blessing, he is up from his nap so it's time to go!

Till next time,
Easton's Mom

We were out shopping and I turn around to this face looking at me from his stroller.
I melted into a huge sloppy puddle right in the middle of Home Depot.


  1. Easton, I have falling in love with you! You are so handsome! I am NOT even going to show my Samantha your picture, because she would be on the first flight out to meet you :) You have such a great Mommy!

  2. Oh my goodness, so true.
    I've never looked my worst. I've never been more distant to the 'me' I was. But I've also never been happier. Sometimes I think its all those infertility years, but who knows? Maybe I would have been the same mom I am regardless of that. The kids are what make it all awesome :D