Thursday, January 19, 2012

Thought Vomit Thursday

  • I have decided to pull my head out of my arse and stop moping around here all kinds of defeated and junk.  I used to be a very strong willed, determined, independent woman.  Now, I'm a wallowing mess of tears and snot at least once every week or two, I can't do anything involved with infertility without someone holding my hand, and I've noticed I can't even self-soothe when I get upset....I need Rik to help me through.  I've decided I've had enough of this me.  I want the old Shannon back.  I think I had it together for a few years there....I'm planning on finding that chick again and you guys are going to love her and she's going to be the best friggin' mom on the planet before you know it.  'nuff said.
  • My pants are so tight I couldn't button them today.  I've gained 16 lbs in the last year and a half.  How does that happen?!  Hmm....I refused to buy new pants so I have started eating healthier and consuming enormous amounts of water (and by enormous I mean your daily recommended amount).  I've also kicked my nasty habit of putting three spoons of sugar in my travel cup of coffee every morning (yes, I like hummingbird coffee - according to Rik).  So far, so good.  These pants will be fitting again in no time - unless I get preggers and then they can get as tight and ill-fitting as they darn well wanna.
  • I have some of the best and funniest friends in town.  I told two of my closest friends about my injection situation last night via text.  One of them, who will remain nameless but her name sounds like Leesha but starts with a K, is in the final stages of nursing school.  Her response was, "Why didn't you call me?!"  I said, "Time to be a big girl".  She said, "You're so full of crap I can't believe you didn't call me!"  haha When I asked why, she said, "I could have done the first few...just think, you could have reinforced my education!  I was robbed!" So selfless and loving!  (I was cracking up because the whole reason I told her AFTER I did the shots was because I knew she'd get all ticked off and wanna come do them for me and so to know I was right just cracked me up!)  :) I seriously LOVE this girl.  My other pal, Schmennifer but with a J, responds with this little gem (which she shared on the blog last night), "Your stomach is flat! I hate you!" and I replied with something about how she can't hate me because I don't hate her and she said, "You can't hate me! I'm fatter than you!" hahahahah.....I was in tears from laughing.  I would have worried if she had said, "Good job!  You didn't pass out!  Go team!"  "I hate you!" was so much better.  Ah....good friends are just hard to find these days.  :)  Love ya girls!!!!!!
  • I was sorely and I stress that word here people, SORELY disappointed that the pharmacy didn't send me a sharps container.  I know that sounds ridiculous, but for whatever reason, I was sooo excited to have a sharps container in my bathroom.  How many people do you know (other than yourself), that are law abiding citizens, with a sharps container in the their WC?  I mean really?  I was pumped.  It was like the silver lining for me.  And.They.Didn't.Send.One.  Ugh.  So guess what my adorably sweet hubby did today?  He called and asked them to send one in our next shipment of meds.  :)  YAY!!!!  
  • I've had a plant I've been killing and reviving now for over a year that just looks so pitiful.  I don't know if I am under-watering then over-watering out of guilt or if it's just not getting enough sunlight.  Poor thing is just pitiful and it's staring at me now with this wilted look of contempt....with it's browning leaves with crunchy tips.... and dull green stems..... Poor thing.
  • There were two wrecks outside of my work today within 20 minutes.  I've worked there for 15 months and we've never had a single wreck till today.  The funny thing is that one of the cars involved in the first wreck had some kind of crisis w/ the tow truck because he sat with his car in the median for three hours before it finally showed up.  Random people would stop and check on him, delaying traffic even more, pedestrians on a stroll would stop and talk to him but all the cops left, the other vehicles were towed or were driven away and then this poor guy just sat there all afternoon.  It was really funny and sad at the same time.
  • Ok, bye for now.  I have a needle to stab myself with and dinner to cook.


  1. Haha, I have to laugh picturing some random guy in the middle of the road all afternoon! I bet he did get to meet a lot of new, friendly people. :) Having a sense of humor through the ugly journey of IF is seriously the way to go. You have to laugh about things, otherwise you'll cry. and cry. and cry some more. I'm glad you have awesome, supportive friends to help with the humor!

  2. love that you have some good friend to make you laugh and push you up!! I vote TIGHT ass pants with a pregnant belly!!

  3. I remember these days. Hang in there! We all get through it somehow. And one day you WILL look back and smile. I promise!

  4. I ended up with TWO sharps containers, and then I felt like a bit of a crazy drug addict. It's kind of funny to see them sitting around your house though. :)

    Your girlfriends sound great!

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  6. I'm just here to be a blessing. :)

    Love ya!!

  7. It's not a bad thing to depend on people that's what GOD gave us those people for. You have always been and will continue to be independent, you were just born that way.... I don't think I have ever met anyone who I look up to more than I do you. You are such a blessing to me. I couldn't be more proud of you. I still believe with all my heart and soul that GOD has a plan for you and that he has prepared you for it all your life. I love you. Mom