TVT BVD TTC

       

                          

• The advent of the spoon MUST have coincided with the development of making and eating jellies and jams on bread.  There is no other thing in this world that spreads jelly better than a spoon.  And don't challenge me on this because then I'll have to spoon you.
• Having laparoscopic surgery jacks you up for weeks.  They should give you pain pills, sleepy-time pills and then a healthy dose of laxatives. (I'd take those last two at different times of the day.)
• I think I wanna open up my etsy shop and actually sell things in it.  Who needs some wine charms or dangly beaded earrings?  Maybe I could send the supplies to someone else and then I can have them make me stuff?
• I'm wearing my hubbys "lucky" brand underwear and they are super cute.  They have little clovers on them and are super soft.  Maybe they'll bring me luck! 
• Yesterday, a guy I work with was on a call w/ a medical provider and decided it would be funny to tell them to hold on and pretend to have a conversation in spanish with a client that had walked in.  This is odd b/c this guy doesn't know spanish very well at all, there wasn't a client anywhere upstairs with us and he was being this ignorant to one of our customers.  I wonder why he has his job sometimes.  He was so proud of how funny he thought he had been.  We were all livid.
• Baxter Bagwell has the raunchiest booty you have ever smelled but also has the cutest little howl that he does for 20 minutes after you get home from work.  Melts your hair with one and your heart with the other!
• Rik wrote his first blog post.  :)  I will be posting it tomorrow!  
• Looks like I'll start my new medicine in a few days!
• Wedding this weekend for Rik's brother and his long time girlfriend.  I can't wait for the wedding!  I made her wedding cake topper and it looks great!  (Pics to come)
• It has been so cold here today.  Like, really cold.
• I'm going to bed b/c I am barely getting this post out before I fall asleeeep!

Thankful for all of you and wish you all lots of happiness this weekend!!

I know how this looks.....but I can explain!

****Mom, if you're reading this, please stop now and go back to Facebook.****

****Rik, you too.  I don't want you to be embarrassed (of me, not for me).****

If you're reading this post, you probably already know I had surgery last week to see if I had endometriosis and while they were down there, they also did a hysteroscopy and a tiny biopsy.   I ended up with four small incisions on my abdomen, each one probably half an inch long.  

Yesterday, I noticed my lower, left incision was a little inflamed and slightly angry.  I had some burning sensations and it was more sore than it had been the previous few days.  When I felt of it, it felt like a really hard lump had formed underneath the skin and it really grossed freaked me out.  So, I did what any smart, resourceful person would do and Google'd "lump under laparoscopic incision".  This resulted in me calling my RE's office lickety-split.  The four options that were bestowed upon me were: hernia, hematoma, infection, scar tissue.

I left the nurse a message about my lump, trying to remember to also leave the 64 pieces of personal information they require with each and every message.  After a half an hour or so, Nurse Rachel called me back and wanted to ask a few additional questions.  I got up, crossed my office and pushed the door almost closed for a little privacy.  ("The Man" doesn't like us to close our office doors and cell phones are frowned upon in the establishment - but this was serious, so I broke the rules.)  The conversation went like this:

                  Me: Hi Rachel!  Thank you for calling me back so quickly!

                  R: You're welcome, what's going on?

                  Me: Well, I have this lump thing that has formed under my left incision.

                  R: It is painful?

                  Me: Yes, more than it was yesterday and Monday.

                  R: It is oozing any kind of fluid?

                  Me (a little woozily): No, I don't think so.  Let me check.

So, being in a dress and all, I turned my back to the door (such a lady), stood behind my chair and pulled my dress up to check.

                  Me: No, it's not oozy.

                  R: Ok, is there a fever to it?  Is it hot?

                 

I hiked up my dress again to feel with the back of my hand, then decided I'd better compare that feeling to how the other side felt.  So, I put the phone between my shoulder and my ear so I could use both hands.  I couldn't tell a huge difference, so I went back and forth a few times rather quickly to compare.  Naturally, I was a little bent over so I could see, hold the phone AND feel my incisions for signs of "fever".

It was exactly at this point that I realized if any of the attorneys or, God forbid, my male boss walked in, they would see me from the back, with both hands up my dress, moving one of my arms back and forth rather quickly, hunched over, whispering into the phone and it would look exactly like I was pleasuring myself.

I don't think I've ever moved so fast in my life.

I removed my hands, released my dress and turned around to face the door in about .0000000000002 seconds.  

                  Me: Nope, no fever, all good!  I think we're good!

                 

Ugh....You just have NO idea the relief I feel that no one made an appearance in my office during those brief minutes when I was NOT pleasuring myself.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US!

Three years ago today, I married the best man in the world.  

I am the luckiest girl ever.

THREE YEARS AND COUNTING!!!!  

Happy anniversary to my wonderful husband!!!

I'm immature....but you've probably already figured that out.

**For the record, this could definitely qualify as TVT, but since it's Monday, we'll just go with it!**

So, my brother and I have an interesting relationship.  We tease each other mercilessly and can be downright ridiculous when we are together.  I realllly wish blogger would let me upload the video I have of our Minute To Win It contest....but I digress.  This weekend, I decided since he hadn't checked on me since my surgery, I'd be a stinker and get even with him for forgetting not caring about me.  I sent him a pic text of the picture the doctor gave us which showed my left ovary with all of the endometrium fluid on it and said, "I hope you never look at chocolate syrup the same way again!"  Immature?  Yes.  Unladylike? Definitely.  Disgusting? Naturally.  Super Awesome?  HECK YES!  He wrote me back hours later and said, "OMG, Shannon, that just made my knees weak."  SCORE!

Come to think of it, he never did ask me if I was ok.  Thank goodness he has a wife that takes care of... well, caring for his family.  I sent her the pic too and told her my left ovary is the one that hates mac n cheese, NOT me.  I am no longer at fault there.  She wasn't very sympathetic to that....

I've ALSO decided that it's my left ovary that doesn't like doing laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, paying bills OR exercising lately.  It was diseased people!  It's not my fault...or at least it wasn't...now I guess it will be my fault again.  Crap.  Note to self: Find some other piece of yourself to blame for the above (or lack thereof).  It seems to be a reasonable detractor of attention from the entire self.

In other news, it appears we'll probably jump right back on the ART wagon - and I don't mean the traveling Dali & Van Gogh Scratch & Dent wagon.  I'm talking Assisted Reproductive Technology!  We're going to get right back to doing our 3rd IUI (since our last one was cancelled at the old clinic b/c they missed our ovulation period).  The (new and fantastic) doc said this is a prime baby making environment so...let's do it.  Why waste another month?  We just tossed two out the window w/ the bath water by first, relying on our previous RE to do a good job and failing and second, by having to take a month off for my surgery.  I'm just hoping that the endometriosis is our last hurdle before sprinting (or waddling) towards the finish line.  Since it's about that time, I guess I'll be starting Clomid again in about a 7-10 days.  I'm ready.  Let's do this (with assistance, in a clinic, on a table, in the stirrups)!!!

Also coming up, I'm going to have my first guest blogger ever....and I hope you all are over-the-moon excited about it!  It is none other than my wonderful, fantastic, amazingly gorgeous and sensitive husband, Rik!  He is a fantastic writer and I'm hoping once he gets a little taste of this blogging biz, he'll start his own about dealing w/ infertility.  He's such an insightful person.  I'm hoping he'll have something for me to post within the next week.  Any ideas for topics or should I just give him a free pass to say whatever he wants to say (could get interesting)?  I'll leave it up to you gals & guy (love ya, Paul!).

I will close by posting my all-time favorite picture of me and my best friend in the whole wide world.  This was taken this spring when we had a few snow storms blow through and it warms my heart every time I look at this photo.  It's framed on my mantle so I see it a lot.  He's such a good boy!

Chance & Mommy

Later,

Shannon

Maple Flavored Coffee

Maple Coffee

Add enough water/coffee to your maker to make 4-6 cups of coffee

Add 1/2 Cup of Maple Syrup in the bottom of your coffee pot

Brew your coffee

Stir the coffee and the syrup together in the pot

Pour your coffee

*Add creamer*

Add large amounts of whipped cream to your coffee mug

ENJOY!

(*creamer is optional, I just like hazelnut in my maple coffee*)

HAPPY FALL!

Main Vein...where were you at when I needed you?!

So, I looked down at my hands earlier and what do I see?  I lovely, thick, straight, fat vein on the top of my hand.  All I could do was shake my head...

See, the other day I had two fears going into surgery.  1.) Having an IV put in, and 2.) Being catheterized.  You already know about what happened after the surgery when I almost had to get catheterized and my life flashed before my very eyes.  But I don't know if I told you about the IV debacle.

We had an awesome nurse.  I mean, AWESOME.  She was so awesome, she sat in the floor cross-legged to help me put on my support hose.  She also "shopped" for a vein for about ten minutes because she was trying to find and work up the best vein she could find in my arms.  She rubbed, smacked, massaged, squeezed, and did everything but beg my veins to cooperate.

See, the problem was that I wasn't allowed to have anything to drink after midnight the night before the surgery AND I'm a nervous pee-er thus resulting in me being very dehydrated by two o'clock in the afternoon.  My veins were like those styrofoam noodle things they use at P.F. Changs in their Lettuce Wraps.

After "shopping" for what seemed like HOURS, and me getting woozy from her rubbing up and down on my veins, Kristi, the awesome nurse, finally decided there was nothing she could do but use the vein located outside the crook of my elbow.  Yep, the outside of the elbow....

Luckily, they used a 22 gauge needle (nothing else would have fit anyway) so it could have been a lot worse.  It hurt like hades.  The worse part was that when she stuck me, I apparently decided to expel half the blood that was in that arm, all over myself and the blanket she had wrapped around me.  I didn't KNOW this was happening though, thank the good LORD (I faint) but I did look down and see a bunch of alcohol wipes soaked in blood where she had tried to stop it/soak it up a little.  I gave myself whiplash I looked away so fast.  According to Rik, he was trying to stay calm (and did a great job of it) but was a little panicked trying to figure out a way to get her more towels without alarming me of the situation.  haha...  Such a sweetie.

I didn't realize that I had bled that badly until they took the blanket away from me in the OR and I saw the big blood stain that was the size of a bowling ball.  Thank goodness I was laying down when I saw that.

I just can't believe right now, I have these beautiful, pulsating veins in my hands begging to be stuck and filled with cool, nutrient-rich electrolytes and yet they were no where to be found a few days ago!   Where were you guys on Tuesday?  I mean really?

Here's a cute picture to wrap this pointless post up.....because it just makes me happy.    

Arrrrriiiibbbbbaaaaaaaa!!!!

Playa del Carmen, Mexico

2007

Thought Vomit Thursday! (All the cool kids are doing it)

This is my first Thought Vomit Thursday....I hope I do it justice! 

• I took my belly button ring out for the first time in 13 years (for any extended period of time anyway) and am not sure I'll put it back in.  I've only left it in this long because it's so friggin weird when I look down at my stomach without it in.  Somehow, I've convinced myself that even though it's SOOOO 90's, it makes me look less pudgy in that area if I have jewelry sparkling back up at me.

• Men's leather jackets with the elastic waist bands are really the ugliest things I think I've ever seen on a man.  Especially the ones that look like they have shoulder pads in them.  If your hubby, father, brother or son wears one of these, please stop the madness.  Although it is an effective means of birth control.  Especially if paired with a mullet and a single gold chain.

• I'm pretty sure my husband feels like he is married to a geriatric.  Poor fella.  I have five prescription bottles on the nightstand and three more stashed in my purse.  Add to that the fact that he has to help me change my pants lately and viola!  I'm two steps away from an assisted living facility.

• Rik went back to work this morning and was dressed like a 1950's debonaire man of the night.  He looked gorgeous and all I could do was drool on myself through the lortab.  I think I managed to tell him I love him and mutter something about the tie he was wearing (I bought it for him recently).  It probably felt great for him to get out of the "House of Ill Repute" (I'm a trampy infertile, remember?) and be around healthy, uncut human beings.   

• My mom came over Tuesday night after my surgery and brought me a goodie package!  Six or seven smutty books (the kind that take no thought and turn your mind to mush), two pairs of UBER soft pj's, and two pairs of socks-one of which I refuse to take off even though it's been more than two days, they are that amazingly soft.  I'm pretty sure these socks have gotten me through the past three days.  So, note to you guys....buy Champion ankle socks with the arch support, it's like wearing little pieces of heaven on your footsies.

• I literally just broke up a dog fight between Baxter Bagwell and Chance.  Probably not good for my stitches and definitely not good for my three fingernails that are now bent backwards and bleeding.  grrrr.....  Can't we all just get along?

• I have a drinking problem.  Currently, I am working on a bottle of water, a cup of sweet tea, an IBC Cream Soda and a half empty mug of coffee.  I never finish anything, just keep adding to my stockpile.  I have no idea why I do this.  It's a very bizarre habit.

• My tummy is doing much better today.  No more bleeding and the swelling has gone down considerably.  The left side is still swollen since that's the side where the cyst was, but over all, it looks and feels much better. The incisions just itch now, which is good because that means it's healing!  Yay!  Now, let's hope this results in a seriously clean, comfy, posh environment for our little rascal to take up residence next month.  Maybe we are dealing with high maintenance sperm and eggs?  Maybe my 3 star uterus just wasn't going to cut it for them but now that we've remodeled and have the all inclusive 5 star resort (and spa) waiting for their arrival, they'll find it to their liking and stick around a while.  It's possible right?  Who wouldn't wanna stay at a place like......Paradise Womb....or The Isle of Conception?  Yeah...hmm....well, we'll work on the name.

Ok, that's all I've got for now.  Hub just made me some cheese quesadillas so I'm going to get busy making them history.  

Till next time,

Shannon